The aim of Spring is to make people happy (and healthy and more, but you already know that). In fact, my aim for life is to be happy and to make others happy on the way. Not necessarily as happy as a toddler with a new toy. But happy enough.
The problem is, how do we know when we’re happy enough? Is it OK to just be satisfied, or is that settling for second best?
I thought about this last week, because I was in a bit of a grump. For absolutely no reason, I was unhappy. I caught myself getting impatient, irritable and a little irrational. And you know what? That’s fine. It’s life. When I bothered to think about it, I realised that this mini-crisis would pass soon enough. (If you need help getting over a bad mood, have a look at this post.)
What really matters is that we’re big-picture-happy. Little things, like a puppy dog or a hug, can make us smile at the time. But it takes more than that to make us truly happy. After reading stacks of studies on happiness, I’d agree that we need…..
1. Purpose
We need to be needed. It could be that a no-one else in your office can do what you do or it could be that your kids couldn’t cope without you. We need to feel like we’re adding to the lives of others, rather than taking away.
When I was growing up, Mum’s bi-polar disorder was often brought to life through an unhealthy addiction to exercise. Not surprisingly, excessive mountain biking when her mind was racing led to some serious injuries over the years. When Mum was injured, wether it was a broken ankle or a shoulder reconstruction, she couldn’t be the hands-on Mum that she identified with. She would become convinced that she was a burden to the family. She had temporarily lost her purpose – being a busy Mum of three. These physical injuries led to a stint in the psychiatric ward almost every time.
2. Connection
Humans are a sociable bunch. While some of us might need time out to recharge the batteries, we all need meaningful interactions on a regular basis. It might be with your family. Or you might have created a family out of your friends. Colleagues, training buddies, neighbours and plenty of other people can provide us with the connection that we crave.
Connecting with friends online makes this a bit blurry. Everyone is different. If e-mailing and facebooking friends leaves you feeling happy, then it works for you. However research shows that it can deplete our mood. Especially if you observe others on social media more than you contribute. If it leaves you feeling flat, try to call friends and see them face-to-face whenever you can. Sharing a laugh is a lot more inspiring than misinterpreting a message and creating issues that don’t exist.
Let’s ditch the pressure to be happy all the time. That’s not how the world works. Instead, let’s remember that even the grumpiest of grumps will pass if we have purpose and connection in our lives.
